Over the years, academics have expressed great concerns on love and behaviour in intimate relationship in South Africa, particularly because relationship difficulties have been found to account for a large part of subjective well-being, failed marriages and escalated rate of divorces as well as a main contributor to depression, drug addiction and even suicide. Yet, little attention has been given to factors concerning people’s attachment history which could influence perception of love and behaviour exhibited in intimate relationship. These connections have implications for developing better couple understanding, promoting and maintaining satisfying intimate relationship which in turn will assist in decreasing the rate of divorces, particularly in South Africa. The study therefore investigated the extent to which attachment styles could influence love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship.
The study is anchored on a cross-sectional correlation research design. By means of simple randomization sampling technique, a total of three hundred and seventeen (N=317, 160 females, 157 males) university students with age range of 18-40 years (M = 21.98 (SD=2.911) were randomly selected. The study instrument were Experienced in Close Relationships –Revised (ECR-R), Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale (STLS) and Brief Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement (BARE). Four hypotheses were tested using Pearson product moment correlation statistics, multivariate statistics (MANOVA), independent T test and analysis of variance (ANOVA).
Results showed that there is a positive relationship among loves styles (passion, intimacy and commitment), likewise attachment styles are positively related. While no statistical significant difference was found between the three group of love styles (intimacy, passion, and commitment) and attachment styles (anxious, secure and avoidant) among NWU students. Further results indicated that females reported more positive behaviour in intimate relationship than males. More so, gender differences were found with respect to intimacy love style, with the tendency for females to engage in an intimate love style in romantic relationship. Nonetheless, no gender difference was found for passion and commitment love style categories.
Based on the above results, the study recommends therefore that relationship counselling program should be established in university institutions, as this will provide insight to understanding of individuals’ love styles and behaviour in romantic relationship. Which in turn will promote a more satisfying intimate relationship.
The impact of early childhood attachment experience on the development and maintenance of adult relationships is a persistent issue in developmental psychology and one with theoretical and clinical concern (Abdul, Anjuman, & Muhammad, 2013; Cohen, 2017; Gleeson & Fitzgerald, 2014). This study is an attempt to make possible connections between attachment styles, love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship. These connections have implications for developing better couple understanding, promoting and maintaining satisfying intimate relationship which in turn will assist in decreasing the rate of divorces, particularly in South Africa.
The quality and the type of early attachment interactions between child-parent is of significant impact on the child’s subsequent psychological and interpersonal functioning throughout the lifespan. Hypothetically, it is believed that, these early interactions develops the child mental representations and work in the shaping of internal models of attachment, which acts as a guide for perceptions and behaviours in future relationships. Thus, Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall (2015) augment that the attachment style formed by the mother-child may lead to a stable personality, attitude or behaviour that can be observed in future interactions.
Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters and Wall (2015) classified attachment in infancy into three: secure, anxious/ambivalent, and avoidant attachment style. Holmes (2014) notes that secure attachment children feel warmth, attention, love, care from their attachment figure, assurance of satisfied needs as well as have trust in the relationship (Abraham & Kerns, 2013). Moreover, attachment security develops when the caregiver is seen as responsible and caring while attachment insecurity fallouts when the caregiver is believed to be inconsistent in their duties, responses and availability (Bowlby, 1988; Feeney, 2008). Insecurity is associated with anxious/ambivalent attachment style where the anxious/ambivalent child is characterised by fear of abandonment, and uncertainty concerning the love of their attachment figure (Craig, Grey, & Snoweden, 2013). While avoidant child tends to be withdrawn and have great feeling of self-reliance and independence (Duschinsky & Solomon, 2017).
According to Berscheid and Regan (2016) the quality of attachment between a child and a significant attachment figure is expressed in adulthood in terms of the degree of interaction, perception about love, and behaviour in future relationships. Early experiences can be expressed in social interactions, formal interactions (work), or intimate relationships in terms of behaviour. This behaviour can either be negative or positive depending on the kind of attachment history acquired from the attachment figure (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 2015).
Attachment history may be internalized as a schema and influence an individual’s perception about love (Laverdiere & Descoteaux, 2014), Sternberg (as cited in, Sumter, Valkenburg, & Jochen, 2013) theorized three components of love styles that individuals tend to have in intimate relationships which are; intimacy, passion and commitment. These three components are combined to make six types of love styles comprising of romantic, fatuous, and companionate love, liking, infatuation and empty love. Which emanate from a subjective experience related to early attachment history formed during childhood (Bahareh & Akbar, 2015).
Different experiences are associated with the different dimension of attachment styles, between early parent-child relationships affecting behaviour, for example, a secure attachment style is reported to have a positive impact on an intimate relationship with regards to behaviour. This is relevant because the type of attachment style differentiates between individuals who will report positive behaviour in an intimate relationship from those that will indicate negative behaviours (Holmes, 2014). As such, secure individual is expected to be more comfortable in disclosing, trusting and receiving love from love partners while insecure attached individuals are likely to report negative behaviours owing to their inablility to freely communicate, disclose, trust and engage with love partners (Holmes, 2014). Consequently, attachment history to a primary caregiver can result in a particular perception about love and behaviour that relates with this perception (Laverdiere & Descoteaux, 2014).
Positive behaviours that are reported to be noted in individuals who have a secure attachment styles include, responsiveness, accessibility, disclosing, engaging and cooperating (Don & Hammond, 2017). Contrary, negative behaviours that are associated with individuals who have formed an anxious or avoidant attachment style include, withdrawing when conflicts or disagreements need to be resolved, inaccessibility, disengagement, and lack of self-disclosure (McMonigle, 2017). According to Don and Hammond (2017), positive behaviours that are observed in intimate relationships are either learned from previous experiences (for example, how an individual was raised) or current satisfying relationships. Therefore, regardless of one’s attachment style previously acquired, behaviour can be relearned (Mazur, 2016). This has been explained better by the social learning theory of Albert Bandura which postulates that behaviour can be moulded through experience or observation of reinforcements and punishments (Rosenthal & Zimmerman, 2014).
Although numerous studies have been conducted on attachment styles (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 2015; Ratto, Doyle, & Markiewicz, 2016; Duschinsky & Solomon, 2017), a few have focused on the relationship between attachment styles, love styles and behaviour exhibited in a romantic relationship (Bahareh & Akbar, 2015). This current study attempts to examine the relationship between attachment styles, love styles and behaviour exhibited in an intimate relationship, as well as the gender differences that may arise in love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship among students at North West University, Mafikeng campus. This is with the view that an understanding of attachment history will help to address issues in intimate relationship, promote satisfying relationship and maintain happy intimate relationship.
Over the years, academics have expressed great concerns on love and behaviour in intimate relationship (Campbell & Moros, 2011; Dattilo, 2014; Schimmenti, Passanisi, Pace, Manzella, Di Carlo & Caretti, 2014). The salient reason for this concern is because of multiple problems related to intimate relationship, such as relationship in-satisfaction, unhappiness and the increasing rate of divorces in the world, particularly in South Africa (Leary & Baumeister, 2017). Yet, little attention has been given to factors concerning people’s attachment history which could influence perception of love and behaviour exhibited in intimate relationship (Michelson, 2014). This is relevant because relationships do not only account for a large part of subjective well-being, but also relationship difficulties such as failed marriages and divorces are a main contributor to depression, drug addiction and even suicide (Laursen & Zukauskienè, 2018; Tasman, Key, Lieberman, First, & Riba, 2015).
According to Statistics South Africa (2016) the rate of marriages and divorces are on the increase, as people are getting married, they are rushing out of the marriages. For example, in 2015 civil marriages increased by 0.6%, registered marriages were 138 627 in 2015 and 139 512 in 2016. Further report indicated an increase in customary marriages of 14.7%, from a total of 3 467 in 2015 to 3 978 in 2016. Likewise, civil unions recorded an increase of 12.3%, (2015 = 1185, 2016 =1 331). It was noted that Gauteng (494) and Western Cape (358) recorded the highest number of civil unions registered in 2016.
In similar progression the rate of divorces increased from 21 998 in 2012 to 25 326 in 2016, constituting an increase rate of 0.3% due to the 25 260 divorces approved in 2015. Moreover, report shows that these divorces came from marriages that lasted between 5 to 9 years. In 2016, 13 922 (55.0%) divorce cases was granted. The divorce cases involved children under the age of 18 years (Statistics South Africa (2016). Prevalence of divorce ranges from 17% to 70%, with South Africa being at 35% (Lamanna, Riedmann, & Stewart, 2015). According to Lamanna, Riedmann and Stewart (2015), 10% of the 35% divorced population in South Africa reported insecure attachment styles (anxious and avoidant) which could be traced back to early attachment history formed with parents or primary caregivers.
Based on the aforementioned statistics, Gottman (2014) explained that the reason behind the increasing rate of divorce may be associated with peoples’ attachment history. More so, Braithwaite, Doxey, Dowdle, and Fincham, (2016) indicated that intimate adult relationships have significant impact on the psychological wellbeing of partners. So much so that disrupted intimate relationship have been found to be associated with emotional maladjustment (Abdul, Anjuman, & Muhammad, 2013), substance use (Cohen, 2017), stress, suicide, and depression (Tasman, Key, Lieberman, First, & Riba, 2015).
Depressed adults often come to therapy with the hope of being assisted in relationships so that a better understanding can be gained about their partners. Although Furman and Rose (2015) postulate that most of the time when couples fight it is because of lack of communication, Weissbourd, Peterson, and Weinstein (2013) observed that it is more than just communication that results in arguments and conflicts in a relationship. One of the underlying problems could be the attachment history that an individual developed in the early years of life which can have an influence in how a person loves and behaves later on in an intimate relationship (Weissbourd, Peterson, & Weinstein, 2013). This is because early relationships between infants and caregivers influence the perception about self, the world, and future relationships (Sachser, Kaiser &Hennessy, 2013).
Noff and Beretvas (2013) propose that relationship vary according to gender differences. This difference is seen in attachment style, love style or behaviour in an intimate relationship. Males tend to develop a secure or avoidant attachment style, have less commitment and disclose less in an intimate relationship, whereas females tend to develop an anxious attachment style, commit more and be accessible in an intimate relationship (Noff & Beretvas, 2013). Likewise, Ghosh and Gilboa (2014) claim that males with a secure attachment style show independency, goal directedness, want to take care of their partners and make life easy for them, which is expected of them due to gender schema. Moreover, females with an anxious attachment style are seen as submissive, obedient, respecting and caring as it is expected of them due to gender schema (Craig, Grey, & Snoweden, 2013). These individuals tend to keep their feelings to themselves, afraid that if they talk their hearts out it might hurt another individual and result in conflict (Maslyn, Schyns, & Farmer, 2017).
Although individuals who have developed an anxious attachment style are said to last in marriage, they tend to sacrifice their happiness in order to maintain peace (Craig, Grey, & Snoweden, 2013). Furthermore, individuals with an avoidant attachment style tend to avoid commitment, closeness and even being in a relationship altogether. Consequently, anxious and avoidant attachment style may lead to psychological, emotional or even social dysfunction which may lead to pathology at a later stage (Donahue, McClare, & Moon, 2014).
Previous studies on love styles and behaviour in intimate relationship have dominated discussions on how couples can resolve conflicts and revive romance in order to be happy in an intimate relationship (e.g. Braithwaite, Doxey, Dowdle, & Fincham, 2016; Campbell & Moros, 20; Laursen & Zukauskienè, 2018; Thomson, Gardener, & Charnovie, 2013). However, reveal of these studies have showed that little attention has been given to factors concerning one’s attachment history which could have influenced perception of love and behaviour exhibited in an intimate relationship. To close this gap, this present study seek to investigate the relationship between attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship among North West University students, Mafikeng Campus.
Likewise, several previous studies (e.g. Abdul, Anjuman, & Muhammad, 2013; Bragin & Pierrepointe, 2008; Campbell & Moros, 2011; Donahue, McClare, & Moon, 2014; Goldberg, 2013; Robinson, Baker, & Nackerud, 2010; Yari & Amit, 2015) have tried to explain the relationship between attachment styles in romantic relationship but no study have tried to associate attachment styles, loves styles and behaviour in a single study. Neither is there any previous study known to have investigated this relationship in North West of South Africa. This study is novel, as it attempts to fill this gap in research in this area.
Besides methodological limitations exist in majority of the past studies, firstly, past studies examining love styles and behaviour in intimate relationship generalize results using European settings (e.g. Bonache, Gonzalez-Mendez & Krahé, 2016; Snapp; Lento, Ryu & Rosen, 2014 Schimmenti, Passanisi, Gervasi, Manzella, & Famà. 2014; Schimmenti, Passanisi, Pace, Manzella, Di Carlo and Caretti 2014). Secondly, these studies (e.g. Konrad, Chopik, Hsing & O’Brien, 2014; Schimmenti & Bifulco, 2015) have limited analyses to either univariate or bivariate summaries, which are inadequate to analyse influential explanations for behaviour in intimate relations. Thus, this present study is different from previous study because data is collected from South African samples making findings applicable to African population. Likewise, multivariate analysis was employed, thereby extending the methodological domain in relationship studies.
In South Africa, therefore, the relationship between attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship, have not been adequately studied. Therefore, the present study seeks to critically consider the issue of romantic relationship in South Africa, this is with a view that findings of the study will be of paramount importance in the development of relevant relationship programs, necessary to educate South Africa population on various attachment styles and how this affect adult relationship. Additionally, the knowledge of attachment history could assist couples understand each other better and gain insights on their individual differences as well as understand how they can benefit from these differences. Lastly, attachment history can also help individuals to gain insight on their behaviour, perceptions about love, and relationships
The study focused on the relationship between attachment styles, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship so as to gain insights on how to understand and maintain couple relationship. The research was based on students from North West University who range from 18- 40 years of age. This age is chosen based on Erik Erikson’s developmental stage of young adulthood which starts at 18 years and ends at 40 years of age, this stage is characterised by intimacy vs. isolation, which allows students to be at a level where they feel the need to be in a relationship and start to commit in intimate relationships. Specifically, data was collected from males and females who are in relationship and are studying at North West University Mafikeng campus.
For the purpose of this study, all participants who vary in relationship status were included in order to identify if there is any difference concerning attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship based on a person’s relationship status. 317 participants participated in this study and they were selected by means of random sampling technique from the North West University Mafikeng campus. Standardized questionnaire was used to collect data within a space of two weeks.
This study only focus on attachment style of an individual and how it might influence one’s love style and behaviour in intimate relationship. Therefore, it did not look at other factors that might influence human development such as trauma, parental styles, birth order or genetics.
While numerous researches have focused on attachment style, little has been done on how it can influence one’s love style and behaviour in adult intimate relationships (Jones, Brett, Ehrlich, Lejuez, & Cassidy, 2014; Sigelman & Rider, 2015; Waters & Grossman, 2015). This study constitutes an empirical investigation into a negligible area of research, the relationship between attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship among North West University students, Mafikeng Campus. Despite the concerns of relationship difficulties, and the increasing rate of divorce in the country, there is no known study in South Africa that have attempted to investigate attachment history in connection with love and behaviour in intimate relationships. To the researcher’s knowledge, this study shall be one of the first attempts to critically analyse attachment styles in the relationship of love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship. Likewise, investigating these connections in a single study in the North-West Province of South Africa makes the study novel.
This study advances towards the integration of attachment styles, love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship by providing a detailed comprehensive empirical investigation of how early parent-child experiences influence adult relationship. Therefore, this study contributes to the broader international studies and the current theoretical
The study would provide methodological benefits because the study investigated the relationship between attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship using multivariate analysis. Study findings would be an eye opener to other researchers in the field. This is because, methodological information will be obtained from the study which will inform future researcher to employ with more sophisticated statistics in future research of this nature.
With the increase rate of divorce in South Africa and challenges facing intimate relations, the results in this study would be of great benefit to other researchers working on relationship studies. This is due to results of the study from integrating attachment styles with love styles and behaviour in intimate relationship, a study that has not been obviously investigated by prior studies, particularly in the North-West Province of South Africa. This would give the needed understanding surrounding relationship difficulties in South Africa.
In the above regard, the study would benefit the government in terms of implementation of future policies and programmes that will promote educational awareness program designed to sensitize the public on issues related to relationships and how to manage such issues so as to promote satisfying relationship.
In addition, the knowledge of the influence of attachment history on love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship, would promote couples understanding, increase insight in their behaviour. Likewise, mothers would also be cautious of and improve the quality of attachment with their children based on the knowledge of early attachment history. Moreover, individuals would start making better choices before entering a relationship and thus decrease the rate of divorce on the long run
This study will be presented in six chapters, each of which contributes to addressing the research objectives and overall purpose of the study, which is to investigate the relationship between attachment style, love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship
Chapter one serves as a background introduction to the study, the chapter provides the problem statement, significance of the study, as well as rationale why this study need to be undertaken.
Chapter two provides a comprehensive explanation of theoretical framework and perspectives. This chapter will detail suitable theories on attachment, love and behaviour. The following theories will be discussed in detail: attachment theory; triangular theory of love; social learning theory; gender schema theory, and Erik Erikson’s stages of development theory.
Chapter three details a comprehensive analysis of the literature on love styles and behaviour in relationship within the international and the South African context, early parent-child attachment patterns will be highlighted as this will be crucial in the understanding of human development particularly in regard to love and behaviour in intimate relationships. Additionally, related reviews on the connections of gender, age, love styles and behaviour in intimate relationship will be extensively detailed. This is undertaken for the purpose of understanding trends covered in existing studies so as to identify literature gaps.
Chapter four provides discussion on research methodology and design employed in this study. Likewise, the chapter will present the socio demographic of participants, the research methodology will further explain in detail the procedures used in data collection and its techniques as well as the application of ethical considerations.
Chapter five will detail data carpentering, where data is screened for missing values and response rate, thereafter, results will be presented and interpretation of results directed by the goal of seeking to address the study research objectives. The interpretation of findings will include a summation of the overarching findings of this study.
The final chapter, chapter six, will provide detail discussion of the findings and give a summary of the key findings of the study including recommendations for future studies.
The chapter contextualised love styles and behaviour in an intimate relationship. It also detailed the problem statement while highlighting and identifying gaps in past studies. This was important for introducing the significance of the current study where study relevance was accessed from three broad domains namely: theoretical, methodological and practical areas.
This chapter addresses theoretical framework and perspectives. Theory presents a systematic and scientific way of understanding why things happen the way they do. Likewise, a theory is a set of related concepts, definitions as well as propositions that assist to describe and predicts behaviour by specifying relationship amongst variables. The theoretical analysis in this chapter is concerned with the explanations of human behaviour in an intimate relationship. The chapter explains love and behaviour from the perspective of attachment theory (Bowlby 1988) as the theoretical framework underpinning this study. In addition, various theoretical perspectives were analysed to explain all study variables, the theories analysed are Sternberg’s triangular theory of love; social learning theory; gender schema theory, and Erik Erikson’s stages of development. The chapter ends with summary of all the theories.
The study is grounded on the theoretical framework of Bowlby (1988) attachment theory which offer structure and guide the research by knitting together all study variables in a systematic and scientific manner, below is the discussion of the framework.
The theoretical framework underpinning this study is attachment theory, developed by Bowlby (1988). It is a psychological theory of human connection based on normal and abnormal development. It emphases the impact of parent-child attachment relationships on healthy development and psychopathology. Attachment theory posits the following, i) individuals are wired to connect with one another emotionally, in intimate relationships; ii) children development is powerfully influenced by the kind of treatment and care received from parents, particularly mothers and iii) a theory of developmental pathways can predict later behaviour in relationship based on early experiences. In this understanding Reuther (2014) posits that attachment theory provides an ethnological, biological, and psychoanalytic framework for revealing how human infant attachment to their caregivers correlates to attachment styles in relationships as an adult.
The theory is categorised into three major dimensions with corresponding characteristics associated behaviours, and implications for later development. The dimensions are: secure, anxious/ambivalent and avoidant attachment style. While secure attachment leads to beneficial results, anxious and avoidant attachment presents developmental risks for the growing child and lead to a feeling of insecurity in interpersonal relationship. In a mother-child secure attachment pattern for example, the child have a sense of safety because of the relationship that exist between mother and child, the presence of the mother nourishes the child physically and emotionally. Likewise, the mother comforts the child when in distress, and reassures him when frightened. The mother is always there for her child when called upon (Bowlby 1988). A study in Minneapolis concluded that children with secure attachment patterns at 1-year, by age 4-5, these children were reported to be cheerful and popular in school. While those who experience insecure attachment styles were reported to be sad and alienated (Sigelman & Rider, 2015).
Likewise, children with avoidant attachment have demonstrated a higher possibility for impaired mental and neurobiological functioning over time (Holmes, 2014) resulting to the development of psychopathology throughout their lifespan (Da Costa et al. 2000). Moreover, anxious and avoidant attachment has been associated with anxiety, anger and depressive symptoms (Wilhem, Gillis, & Parker, 2016). As a relevance to the present study, children with anxious and avoidant attachments are usually unhappy (Goldberg, 2013). Thus, they are less likely to be involve in intimate relationships and also likely to have difficulties if they want to marry and have children of their own (Bowlby 1988; 2012).
Bowlby (2012) expounded on attachment theory related to a child-parent and adult- adult interaction in greater detail. In his studies, he developed a framework consisting of general ideologies of attachment after birth. His theory stemmed from the observation of infants’ and young children’s behaviour who were separated from their caregivers (usually mothers) for various lengths of time.
Bowlby (as cited in Goldberg & Kerr, 2009) noticed that when infants or children are separated from their attachment figures they react by crying, being passive, or hopeless based on the period the mother takes to return. Mothers who respond immediately to their child’s cry assure the child they will always be there for their safety, therefore, form a secure attachment with their child. However, mothers who delay responding to their child’s needs or not respond altogether are likely to produce children with anxious or avoidant attachment styles (Sigelman & Rider, 2015).
The strength of this theory lies within the fundamental principle of the theory, which assumes that attachment patterns formed during early experiences persist into adulthood and predict social behaviour (Bowlby 1988).
The implication of attachment theory to the present study is that the theory helps to determine and explain individuals’ attachment style based on the secure, anxious/ambivalent and avoidant attachment style. This is because the knowledge of attachment styles will not only assist in understanding an individual’s attachment style but individual characteristics will be identified and how these characteristics are significant in an intimate relationship. Therefore, evidence of attachment style contributes to the notion that a person’s love style and behaviour in an intimate relationship is affected by the attachment history an individual had.
Triangular theory of love developed by Sternberg (1986) posits that love can be understood from three components. The components are intimacy, passion and commitment. While intimacy component is defined as the feelings of closeness, connectedness, and attachment in loving relationships, passion component encompasses the drives connected to romance, physical and sexual attraction. Commitment comes to tie intimacy and passion together. It is the component that deals with the decision made by someone that he loves someone (i.e. short term) and the decision to maintain that love (i.e. long term). Sternberg (1988) states that it is the commitment component that sustain relationships during challenging and difficult periods. In this regard, Sternberg contends that, it is the interpretation an individual give to commitment that decides how a relation is maintained. For example, an interpretation of commitment for one partner may mean “stay together at all cost” whereas to another, commitment may mean “stay together until it is not working”.
In addition, intimacy is based on aspects such as trust, security, and self-disclosure (Jackson-Dwyer, 2014). According to Osborn (2013), intimacy is characterized as an emotional connectedness whereby an individual feels comfortable talking to their partner and opening up to them. Neto and Pinto (2015) postulated that intimacy tends to show after a couple has been in a relationship for a while and it is characterized as a ‘warm’ component of all the three sides of the love triangle. On the other hand, passion refers to being physically attracted to a partner and always thinking about them (Ratelle, Carbonneau, Vallerand, & Mageau, 2013). Unlike intimacy, passion usually shows in the first stages of an intimate relationship and is characterized as the ‘hot’ component of all the three sides of the love triangle (Neto & Pinto, 2015). Moreover, commitment as earlier said, refers to the decision to love and maintaining that love (Jackson-Dwyer, 2014). Therefore, loyalty, responsibility, faithfulness, and trust are descriptors of commitment, suggesting that commitment involves being there for someone in good and in bad times (Osborn, 2013). Commitment is characterized as the ‘cool’ component of love as it is based more on cognition and decision making (Neto & Pinto, 2015).
Sternberg (1986) theorized that the above mentioned three components of love can be combined to create six different types of love plus nonlover and liking. Intimacy alone results in liking, passion alone results in infatuation, and commitment alone results in empty love (Jackson-Dwyer, 2014). Liking can be observed when individuals enjoy each other’s company and feel comfortable in talking to each other (Osborn, 2013). Infatuation can be observed as individuals start to idealize their affection and imagine that their lives would be wonderful if they could get into an intimate relationship (Ratelle, Carbonneau, Vallerand, & Mageau, 2013). Bahareh and Akbar (2015) suggest that infatuation often occurs in the early stages of an intimate relationship and individuals who hold this kind of love style often do not last in their relationship as passion may fade with time. Johnson (2014) postulates that empty love comprises of high levels of commitment and less intimacy and passion, and it is often seen in couples who have been in a relationship for a long time.
In addition, Intimacy and passion result in romantic love which is characterized by sexual attraction, intimate connection and less commitment (Neto & Pinto, 2015). In contrast, intimacy and commitment result in companionate love which is characterized by emotional connectedness, a decision to stay loyal, and be with your partner over the long haul (Osborn, 2013). Moreover, commitment and passion result in fatuous love which is characterized by high levels of passion and commitment with low intimacy, it is often seen in polygamous relationships where a husband may be committed to all his wives and be passionate about them but limit his disclosure to some of them (Sumter, Valkenburg, & Jochen, 2013).
The most idealized love style is the consummate love which is a combination of intimacy, passion and commitment (Jackson-Dwyer, 2014). This type of love style is often seen in movies where two couples meet, fall madly in love and live happily ever after, although some people possess this kind of love style in their relationship, it is seen to be the most difficult to maintain as it is unrealistic to expect all components to be high all the time (Bahareh & Akbar, 2015).
The strength of this theory lies in the distinct characteristics and functionalities of the three components of love and how these predict behaviours in an intimate relationship. Thus, the implication of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love in this study is that, the theory assists to account for individual differences in regard to love and close relationships. Likewise, effective integration of all three components of love in an intimate relationship will strengthen the relationship.
Social learning theory of Albert Bandura (1977) posits that individuals exhibit behaviour that is learned in social interactions through direct or indirect observation, imitation or modelling (Wouter, 2013). In addition to the observation of behaviour, learning also occurs through the observation of rewards and punishments, a process known as vicarious reinforcement (Johnson & Bradbury, 2015). When a particular behaviour is rewarded regularly, it will most likely persist; conversely, if a particular behaviour is constantly punished, it will most likely stop. The major strengths of this theory is that it provides a more comprehensive explanation of human learning by recognising the role of mediational processes. As it integrates mental (cognitive) factors in learning (Bandura, 1986).
According to this theory, individuals exhibit behaviours they have previously learned and are currently learning (Rosenthal & Zimmerman, 2014). As a relevance to this study, this theory can be used to explain behaviours that individuals portray in a relationship that could have been influenced by the past or present. For example, if an individual has been taught that he or she does not need a relationship to be whole, he or she may develop an avoidant attachment style. However, if the individual gradually realizes as he develops that human beings are social beings and need one another especially in times of challenges, ideas previously learnt concerning relationships might change and the individual might start to consider being intimate.
Although early experiences have a great impact on one’s behaviour, relearning is possible and can lead to new behaviour (Rosenthal & Zimmerman, 2014). Therefore, social learning can also be used to help individuals alter the dysfunctional learning that has taken place and implement a new set of rewards to enhance more functional behaviours (Johnson & Bradbury, 2015).
Gender schema theory introduced by Bern (1981) refers to the theory that individuals learn from childhood about what it means to be male and female constructed from the culture they emanate (Starr & Zurbriggen, 2017). According to this theory, children mould behaviour to fit in with the gender expectations and associated norms of culture. According to Bem (as cited in, Lips, 2017), from an early age, children observe people and the culture that is in their context, learning various associations with masculinity and femininity. This learning does not only focus on physical differences between men and women, but also the societal roles that men and women take, how the society treat each gender, and the characteristics associated with each gender (Leaper, 2017).
For example, a child might learn that a woman’s role is in the caring, showing respect, being submissive, humble, and building a happy family with children who are obedient which might be related to an anxious attachment style and accessible and responsive behaviour. On the other hand, a child might learn that a man’s role is only in providing (financially) for the family, being the ‘head’ in the relationship by being the leader who only posits characteristics of strength and not weaknesses, and being protective which might be associated with an avoidant attachment style and inaccessible, unengaging behaviour.
Through children’s’ observation that are directed at attributes, activities and actions, schemas related to how men and women should behave are formed. Ghosh and Gilboa (2014) explain a schema as a mental representation of an aspect of the world, it is usually called stereotype. These schemas are incorporated in the child’s self-concept, influence how they think and view the world around them (Leaper, 2017). The schemas individuals formed as children create a sort of gender lens that influence how they think people should behave, hence African men see it as a sign of weakness to cry or explain emotions (Dwairy, 2015). Bem (as cited in, Lips, 2017) believed that this gender schema were limiting for men, women and the society as a whole. Raising children free from these gender schema and stereotypes would lead to greater freedom and less restrictions (Starr & Zurbriggen, 2017).
According to Erikson’s theory of stages of development (1959), this class of age is found in the stage of intimacy versus isolation (Kivnick & Wells, 2014). In this stage, young adults seek deep intimacy and satisfying relationships, but if unsuccessful, isolation may occur (Baltes & Schaie, 2013).
Erikson’s theory explains that, every person must pass through a series of eight interrelated stages over the entire life cycle (Newman & Newman, 2015). Erickson calls each stage a crisis, which an individual must successfully pass through in order to grow and develop (Baltes & Schaie, 2013). The relevance of this theory to the study is that, the manner in which an individual behave in an intimate relationship will be a reflection as to whether or not that individual successfully complete the stage of intimacy versus isolation. This is because, Erikson’s stages of development submit that, it is expected that an individual will have challenges during relationship in adulthood, if that individual did not successfully manage and solve crisis particularly during the stage of intimacy versus isolation. Likewise, the individual will experience unhealthy personality and sense of self crisis.
The chapter presented the theoretical framework and various perspectives to situate love and behaviour in an intimate relationship. Attachment theory as the study theoretical framework integrated all study variables in order to explain the relationship between love, behaviour and attachment styles. In contextualising this, the theory placed the origins of adult romance in infant-caregiver attachment behaviours. The theory explained how early attachment patterns affect love and shape behaviour in adulthood (Bowlby 1988). This is because, early attachments are the starting steps in the development of emotion identification, which in turn influence social interactions and future relationships.
In addition, theoretical perspectives such as Sternberg’s Triangular theory of love; social learning theory; gender schema theory and Erik Erikson’s stages of development offered theoretical explanations to all study variables. While, Sternberg’s Triangular theory of love (1986) explains love in an intimate relationship by means of three components namely intimacy, passion and commitment. The theory highlighted that the distinct characteristics and functionalities of these three components of love predict behaviours in
