Worldwide, divorces have emerged as a most expected outcome of marriages today, inquisitorial the veracity of the saying that weddings are ‘made in heaven’. The research done by Paul R. Amato and Denise Previti (2013) defined divorce as a complex event that can be viewed from multiple perspectives. For example, sociological research has focused primarily on structural and life course analysts of marital disruption, such as social class, race, and age at first marriage.
Psychological research, in contrast, has focused on dimensions of marital interaction, such as conflict management, or on personality characteristics. The divorce rates among young couples are increasing progressively, thus become an issue of major concern. Divorces were not so common in the older days, but as time passed by, it began to be acknowledged as more of a common practice. The increasing divorce rate persists because couples choose divorce as an option for problems that most of the times can be solved by discussion and compromise.
Therefore this paper highlights the causes of higher divorce rate in developing countries which have been categorised into three; affective reasons, abusive behaviours and external pressures and also the respective solutions. The main reason for marital failure is focused narrowly on affective qualities of relationships which are infidelity, followed by incompatibility, and communication problems. Infidelity is the most mentioned main contributing factor to divorce as it is been cited most of the articles that we have studied because this act is mostly considered unjustifiable in trust issues spouses cannot recuperate from. According to Shellie Warren (2018), unfaithfulness always starts with emotional affair and it will be developed into physical affair.
The explanation given by Paul R. Amato and Denise Previti (2013) on their article addresses that spouses will show poorer adjustment and estrangement between married couples will occur that leads to the dissolution of their marriage. Thus, disloyalty is a perilous watershed in a deteriorating relationships. Besides, incompatibility is also one of the affective reasons that leads to spouses getting divorce.
Incompatibility or drifting apart is a situation related to emotional attrition in the relationship-not being understood, not in love anymore, feeling lonely and unappreciated (Ilene Wolcott, 1999). This reason is expected to be the indicators of problems regarding deeper psychological or social roots (Jody Hughes, 1999). Anyhow, either spouses cannot be blamed for the failure of marriage based on incompatibility as couples are unable to cooperate with each other to stay married. Communication is the key of a marriage and inability to have an effective communication will lead to pique and depression for both spouses, causing marital problems. Some unhealthy routine of communication that leads to frustration are having too much argument and conflict, yelling at spouse and lack of communication throughout the day (Shelby B., et al., 2013). The study by Bindhu Vasudevan, et al.
(2015) on divorce rate also to be stated due to lack of understanding and communication problem among the couples. The findings may be interesting, but this is not the first time we are hearing that communication could make or break ones marriage. A range of personalities, characteristics and behaviours attributed to oneself or commonly one’s spouse, is the second major causes for marital failure. Frequently counted in in this category are alcohol and drug abuse, physical violence to spouse (wife) or child, and emotional or verbal abuse. In most of the articles, alcohol and drug addiction set a prominent strain on a marriage as an outcome in the exchange of behaviours.
The number of wives nominating their husbands on negative behaviours are far way more than the husbands doing so (Ilene Wolcott ; Jody Hughes, 1999). These addiction and abuse can skyrocketed and can often kill the spouse who is involve in these habits and the spouse who is not will often suffers till the end of life. Thus, the spouse, mostly women or wives, are more willingly to file divorce than being ended up in a pathetic life. Physical danger to the wives and children was one of the many reasons for marriage breakdown.
According to the research done by Shelby B. , et al. (2013) the wives voiced out how the violence or mistreatment in their relationship grow continuously with increased level of violence and remorseful till the seriousness extremity of the abuse worsen to unassailable levels. In spite of the fact that wives can still bear with the physical violence of their husbands, when their children themselves were to be the victims, that is where the women stand up with all the rights to apply divorce. Hence, the inability to overcome their challenges, the wives prefer to end up in courtrooms. Emotional and verbal abuse in a marriage is such a covert form of domestic violence and abuse that many people are unable to recognise that they are a victim.
In this context, women are the main victim of these abuse that triggered them to get divorce although the abuser is not a “bad” person, as deep emotional issues are to be blamed (Shellie Warren, 2018). Factors outside the interactive relationship such as financial problems and physical and mental health may affect the relationship causing stress leading to marital failure. Financial hassle plays an important part on how people interact with one another. Most divorce cases occur shortly after a major financial crisis in a family, such as a failed investment or bankruptcy and when one of the spouse losses the job or being fired. Financial hardship can increase the couples’ loneliness, misery, and they will be having low self-esteem which can worsen marital tensions (Ilene Wolcott & Jody Hughes, 1999). Thus, couples with low incomes are at a higher risk of divorce than couples with higher incomes.
In addition, physical illness and mental health problems have often been incorporated within the external pressures’ category. Physical and mental illness can increase stress in a relationship and lower marriage satisfaction. Poor health can strain finances, affect sexual relations and create tensions that lead to decreased marriage satisfaction. Marital distress and psychological illnesses mutually influence each other. Marriage problems can create or intensify some psychological illness but individuals with psychiatric disorders are also less likely to develop satisfying marriages (Ilene Wolcott ; Jody Hughes, 1999). Divorcing before age 30 is becoming so common that it is creating a demographic phenomenon.
Once a couple starts having problems, their friends, family and even their own pastor may think the only solution is divorce. According to Shellie Warren (2018), no marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in courtrooms. This is why it is important to address issues in relationship early on. Here are some solutions to curb the increasing divorce rate in developing countries. The main solution to overcome high divorce rate is to have premarital education.
The explanation given by Shelby B. Scott, Galena K. Rhoades, Scott M. Stanley, Elizabeth S. Allen and Howard J.
Markman (2013) on their article addresses that premarital education included receiving relationship education before making a commitment to marry, having support for implementing skills outside of the educational setting, and increasing content about the stages of typical marital development. What does commitment mean in marriage? Commitment in marriage is the willingness to sacrifice and do whatever to make the marriage work. If you willing to sacrifice for your partner, your relationship are able to work well. Whenever couples are having support for implementing skills outside of the educational setting, couples are able to work out on issues on general. In premarital education, stage of marriage will also be mentioned.
In every marriage, there are different stages and if you understand and cooperate with your partner in each stages, it will bring a good effect in your marriage. Premarital education does give a big effect on reducing high divorce rate. It can help to ensure that couples have a strong, healthy relationship that giving couples a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. Therefore, it is a good solution to reduce high divorce rate in developing countries. Never look at divorce as a answer of a hurting marriage. Most of the people will think of divorce when they are facing problem in marriage but divorce is not the only solution when having problem in a marriage.
The next solution that can helps to reduce divorce rate in developing countries is spending quality time with partner. Marriage problems arise because married couples fail to spend quality time with each other. According to Shellie Warren (November 7th, 2017), there are a lot of couples who are not happy in their marriage simply because they don’t feel like they relate to one another anymore. In order for a marriage to be healthy so that it can last, these are necessities to spend quality time with your partner. A couple can significantly improve their chances of marital success by devoting as little as 15 minutes a day exclusively to each other (iVillage, Oct.14.2016). Take time every day to have meaningful conversations with each other; to listen with the same intensity as when you were dating; to touch, hug, and show affection; to tell each other how you feel about your marriage; and to talk about your goals for the marriage and your lives.
In all these ways, the bond between couples can be strengthened and become more steadily. Sometimes, spending quality time with your love one is the only therapy you need when you were upset. It helps to build up a strong and healthy relationship. Therefore, spending more time with your partner is also one the solution to reduce marital failure. Marriage include fights, jealousy, arguments, faith, tears and disagreements, but a real marriage fights through all that with love.
There are too many reasons to cause marital failure in our lives. As we mentioned earlier, infidelity, incompatibility, and communication problem are the main reasons that causes marital failure. Loyalty and communication are the basics of marriage. A relationship cannot be build without good communication and thus couples should have better communication to avoid marital failure. A range of personalities, characteristics and behaviours attributed to oneself or commonly one’s spouse is the second major causes that lead to marital failure.
Different people have different personalities, therefore couples have to tolerate each other to maintain a healthy relationship. When there is a will, there is a way. Although there are many reason that causes marital failure but if you are determined enough, you will be able to find solutions to solve all the marital problem.
