A literary piece that really brings attention to the unfair and unrealistic expectations for women to be “perfect” wives. Time and time again, women have been given advice from mothers, grandmothers, friends, television, magazines, etc. about how to be good wives. Women have long been expected to be the ones in charge of cooking, cleaning, caring for children and catering to whatever wants or need her husband has. Brady wrote this piece because for so long, women have been made to believe that their worth as a woman is solely based on what they are doing for their husbands. Brady says that the essay did not take a long time to write, but her experience of being a wife had given her these ideas long before they were put onto paper (Brady 463). This is such an unhealthy idea to put out into the world, as men should also be held accountable for being good to their significant others. As women, we are continuously bombarded with so many ridiculous expectations and the negative impact it can have on mental health is not okay. It is not okay to have young girls growing up thinking the only way they have any place in society is if they find a husband to serve. We are not robots, we are human beings who have unique purposes in this world besides just getting married, having babies and then catering to husbands as if they are incapable of doing any work for themselves or also catering to the needs and desires of their wives.
Brady’s essay is aimed mainly at women. Her choice to bring this issue to light for women is so that changes can be made in order to achieve greater equality among men and women. She says that there has been a “lack of meaningful change for women” (Brady 464) and her hope is that women reading “I Want a Wife” will feel the emotions that she is conveying and relate to what she is saying. It is important to feel inspired to make strides in gender equality, rather than perpetuating these expectations of women to simply aspire to be “perfect” wives.
Brady starts off the essay by explaining that she, herself, is part of the “classification of people known as wives” and then proceeds to tell readers about a particular occurrence that stirred up a lot of frustration about the way women are made to feel obligated to be a certain way (Brady 459-460). The essay is very emotionally-charged and also very thought-provoking. It is organized in a way that truly gets the reader get fired up. Any woman reading this and has felt her own frustration about this gender inequality can say, “You know what? You’re right. These things are unfair!” The author’s emotional approach to writing this essay has an effect on readers that makes them feel just as irritated as she is about these issues. She perfectly concludes “I Want a Wife” with a particular statement: “My God, who wouldn’t want a wife” (Brady 461). This is a simple, yet powerful way to have wrapped up the essay because it emphasizes the fact that men expect women to be these superhuman creatures who do anything and everything simply to make their husbands’ lives easier. The italicized ‘wouldn’t’ makes readers feel like they can hear the author sarcastically saying this and rolling her eyes as she says it. It is another way that Brady personally relates to those reading the essay.
“I Want a Wife” uses informal language, but not technical or slang. The majority of her sentences begin with, “I want a wife who,” followed by one of the ridiculous things that are expected of wives (Brady 460-461). The repetitiveness of this phrase makes readers realize just how many of these expectations there really are. I think the author chose to use informal language because instead of sounding like someone who is just spouting off issues, she is making it clear that she is personally affected and upset by the injustices she sees and has experienced in her own life. In making it personal, readers feel like they are listening to someone who genuinely does want things to change, rather than someone who merely acknowledges that there are problems with gender equality but not doing anything to do away with them.
Throughout the essay, Brady uses declarative sentences. However, the almost feel a little bit exclamatory because they are so passionate, but they are still declarative. She does not waste time trying to fluff up the essay by using a lot of complicated language, but rather clearly cuts to the chase and gets her message across. One example of her using of declarative sentences, is where she says “I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs” (Brady 460). Some of the sentences do end up being a little bit longwinded and run on, but I think that was purposeful. It is, again, a way of relating to readers but truly getting it all out there how fed up she is with inequality women face in marriages. For example, “I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it,” (Brady 460). Brady is again making it obvious how ridiculous it is that women are the ones who are expected to be at their husbands’ beck and call, simply because that is what has been pounded into their brains from a young age. Advice for husbands on how to be “good” husbands is basically nonexistent and that is a problem that calls for change.
The author does not use dialogue or quotations because that would simply not flow with the informal feel of the essay. Dialogue and quotations have their places in more informative literary pieces but “I Want a Wife” is all about a woman who is outraged about gender inequality in marriage. Instead of taking words from others, Brady is speaking from her own experience and from her heart on the matter. Every part of the essay is the author’s very own thoughts and feelings.
“I Want a Wife” employs emotional appeal, or pathos. Throughout the essay, the author unapologetically expresses how upset gender inequality in marriage makes her. In doing so, she is inspiring readers to allow themselves to feel upset as well and make moves to start making positive changes to end the inequality once and for all. Pathos targets readers’ emotions to appeal to their values and their beliefs (Hacker & Sommers 84). One example that stands out to me demonstrating Brady’s use of pathos is, “If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one” (Brady 461). This is truly such a saddening statement. The fact that women feel that they need to do certain things or that they need to fit a certain mold in order for someone to love them, the fact that women feel like they are interchangeable based on those factors, is just devastating. Marriage should be a situation in which two people love and value one another. Husbands should not have these expectations that their wives will ignore their own needs or desires. The fact that any woman has a true fear in her heart that if she does not do everything her husband asks her to 100% that he will leave is so alarming.
Women deserve to live lives that are not just based on what others want from them. Women are not simply in existence to blindly serve other humans based on the erroneous notion that they will be “bad wives” if they do not. Wives should also feel as if their husbands are willing to do things for them that will make their lives better. Brady wants to get her message across by appealing to any woman who has ever been made to feel like she is not a good wife or valuable member of society simply because she is not purely living her life to be a servant in the name of “love”. I believe a lot of women suffer in absolute silence when they are married because they feel like there is something awry if they are not happy just to place all of their energy and attention into a husband. The pressure society places on women needs to stop and I think that with more people like Judy Brady working to get us to work together to make strides, we can truly make a difference.
