“I’ve never seen someone as stupid as you are.”
It was in an afternoon when my friend and I was playing with our battleship Legos. The Lego pieces were packaged in different small plastic packages, which were then teared off and clustered by my friend. When my dad came home and saw that clump of Lego pieces, he started a lecture of how they were supposed to be separated as each small packet contained Legos for a ship or an item, and it was foolish to make it harder to build to whole thing by tearing them and making a mess like this. He ended the talk by saying how disappointed he was of my stupidity. I was only 6.
More than once have I witnessed my parents’ frustration, sometimes even harshness, when I failed to understand their instructions for my homework, and their admiration for their friends’ children for being successful at school. “That kid is smart”, they often said. Throughout my time from primary to high school, as for many other students, I was constantly evaluated and scrutinized; every time I earned a high score on an exam or achieve high standings in competitions, I was complimented to be “brilliant, just as your father is” or to “have inherited his father’s brain” by my friends, neighbors, relatives, and teachers.
Little by little, I grew accustomed to these compliments, and enjoyed taking them. Whenever success came, it was all thanks to my natural ability. But whenever I failed, I blames my incompetence for those failures by default. I started to feel ashamed of not being able to succeed; even worse, I was afraid to fail, to be deemed “unintelligent”.
It took me a long time to realize that inborn qualities are not the only thing that matters. My dad used to be a boy who had to go miles around the city to sell ice cream to afford some musty food for him and his sisters. Yet that boy has now became a civil engineer and chairman of his company’s board of directors. Although his intellect is admirable, he couldn’t have gone that far without being resilience and hardworking despite any circumstance. Born in an area where studying abroad remains a fantasy for most people, I’m now one of the few in the region and the first in my family to ever attend an abroad institution. Considering myself as a slow learner, I know that not gene, extraordinary brainpower, nor any type of ability whatsoever, but sleepless nights to edit my application and the inclination to not give up that got me where I am.
Although what my dad said was certainly not the most pleasant thing for to hear, I understand why he did so. He has always believed that his children can become great individuals. And in a culture where success and innate qualities are the standard, he can only hope us to possess such things. Who can blame a parent for that? If there’s anything wrong with the status quo, it is the view that has existed for thousands of years. This must change.
I believe that attitude, perseverance, and diligence are more important than inborn abilities. I believe that we should be encouraged to try our best, not to rely on intrinsic capabilities. It is true that ability matters; but if more and more praises about inborn potential are made, more and more people will grow up believing that success only comes to gifted ones and that there’s no point trying if people don’t have talents. By saying “nice try, keep trying” instead of “well done genius”, we can prompt ourselves as well as following generations to work hard, be persevere, and never settled with fate. After all, these, not natural competency, are the qualities that get the human society where it is; and in a complicated and ever-changing world of today, they are needed more than ever.
